The intensive engagement with my own difficult life journey—now for over 30 years—has created a vast wealth of knowledge and a toolbox of countless means to stand by other people helpfully and appropriately. Psychotherapies have reflected me from every conceivable angle, and the experiences of my past now touch only a few areas of my present life.

All of this is part of my life story—even though, at my core, I am not my story. Today, thanks to this deep processing, I can offer other men in the protective, respectful setting of a mindful tantra massage what I myself never received: appreciation of their masculine essence and sovereignty, respect for their boundaries, and honoring their life energy. With great sensitivity and empathy, I accompany them on the path to their true selves—even through wounds they have suffered.

special people— I call myself a “special” person. Not entirely by choice, but I am different in some respects from those who did not have to endure formative experiences of sexualized violence—physical and psychological—and other trauma. My stress system is more fragile, my strength drains more quickly, and social contact can overwhelm me because my nervous system finds it hard to relax. My brain, shaped by the massive overload I once experienced, is wired differently and sometimes reacts unexpectedly, unpleasantly, or inappropriately to situations that are actually harmless.

I would like to be like most other men—matured through an unbroken physical and emotional development into a cheerful, healthy, adult man. But who can truly claim that for himself?

reflection— Traumatic experiences can overshadow an entire life—the less they are worked through, the more they do so. They are the mixed color that grays the white of the life path; the buried nuclear waste that continues to radiate upward from deep underground. Precisely for that reason I am now, with all my heart, a tantra bodyworker who can offer other men a special space of appreciation born from these experiences.

People like me think and act differently—and with that we enrich the world with outcomes that could only have been born from necessity.

You’ve found your way to this page. I therefore assume you may have a background shaped by experiences of sexualized violence. If that is so, I feel for you from my own painful experience and I know what this means for you and your life. I can relate.

a new path— You survived your ordeal. You are still here. Perhaps not in the way you would like, or as society models or demands. Perhaps—indeed likely—you will keep feeling the aftershocks in your life, whether you want to or not. But: YOU ARE ALIVE. With all the experiences that make this life harder.

And so I say to you: You are a special person, an extraordinary one. Your strength and resilience did not let you go under, and despite all justified despair at what you suffered, you fought your way through and you are still here. Never forget this when the yoke of the unfathomable pushes you to the ground. The fact that you looked for and found my offer, and are reading these pages, shows that you have already come a long way in processing what you experienced. You wouldn’t be here if your higher self weren’t ready to engage with it.

Are you looking for new ways to reclaim your bodily-emotional identity? In tantra massages I gift men with unconditional attention. I love this work because it can be a powerful counter-experience to what came before.

the power of touch— Mindful, considerate, respectful touch can set far more positive processes in motion than you might imagine. It reaches layers the mind alone cannot. It can release protective mechanisms behind which unprocessed feelings hide, because injuries of all kinds are stored in the cellular memory.

I always had in mind to reclaim my identity as a man. For a long time I saw the mountain of pain and sorrow as a challenge and faced it courageously. Decades of talk therapy took me incredibly far. Yet something was missing: attention to my body—the wholeness of the process.

My inner voice told me early on: listen to the body and make peace with it. Because what does sexualized violence do to us men? It alienates us from ourselves—from the very self that, like nothing else, offers protection and a sense of home. It takes our trust, our self-assurance in every area of being, and leaves us insecure. It disrupts and destroys development and identity toward a manhood that can be lived with responsibility and joy in being.

Long before I ever received a tantra massage myself, I wished for a form of support that combines conversation and mindful bodywork. It was clear to me: areas that touch one’s identity and bodily sense are best worked through via gentle physical experience—under safe conditions and with clear agreements. I wanted to learn to perceive my own boundaries, to name them clearly, and to feel which touches are pleasant to me and which are not. I also wanted to practice saying no consciously. It was also about gradually softening the inner protective walls that had built up over many years—within a safe frame where my counterpart respects my boundaries.

I wished to rebuild trust and to experience how body and mind relax when I realize: touch can be mindful, respectful, beneficial—not harmful. Everything had to be free of sexual goal-orientation, free of expectations, and always with the option to steer the situation myself. The support should help me make these experiences mindfully and then reflect on them. Back then I couldn’t find anything like this. Many years later, however, I discovered an alternative and transformative path in tantra massage.

The first two massages I received from a tantra massage practitioner were exciting and also tinged with uncertainty. What would happen? Would I go home strengthened by new experiences that brought me closer to my lost identity? Would I fall back into old feeling patterns?

unexpected experiences— I was able to address important topics and to experience that mindfulness and respect are the supporting elements of this work. During the massage, emotional doors opened, and I experienced my body in a new, positive light. That was a valuable experience that helped me approach my inner core—independent of my story.

Within a clearly structured setting, with an empathetic and experienced companion, a tantra massage can be a wonderful path toward alleviation and change. I was ready to take that step. Since then, everything keeps changing—further and further.

I want to encourage you to open yourself to new, transformative experiences. Please reach out if I can support you in that.